1. No trespassers allowed--except by permission of the cook.
2. Complaints about flavor, promptness or quality of food shall be written on a $5 bill and presented to the cook in person.
3. No free samples (except by the cook) prior to meal time.
4. No unexpected guests unless reservations have been made at the cook's favorite restaurant.
5. No complaints about weakness or flavor of coffee, it's always available just down the street.
6. Hugs and kisses accepted by the cook--as well as compliments and pinches.
Hahaha! Thanks, Priscilla!